Monthly Archives: December 2009

54. Davey Donkeydangle & Mister Frisky.

“Hey, Lucifer. You’ve got kids, haven’t you?” “Depends what you mean, Fluff.” “What? You’ve either got kids or you haven’t. Now, you’ve got kids, haven’t you?” “Well, if you’re asking me if I’m a dad, then yes. If you’re asking … Continue reading

Posted in The Stories. | Leave a comment

53. Womb Raider

Rusty doesn’t have a girlfriend. He’s forty four, still lives at home, and he’s converted the garden shed into a little den where he can watch his horror flicks and play on his console. He loads paper into one end … Continue reading

Posted in The Stories. | Leave a comment

52. Bummery Justice

“Anyone seen my wallet?” “Let us know if you find my keys. Can’t seem to find them…” “I put a tenner in that drawer and it’s not there now!” “There’s a fucking thief about…” It’s never good when stuff starts … Continue reading

Posted in The Stories. | Leave a comment

51. Cornish Nasty.

Some fights you just can’t win. I’ve got no chance against Dave Pebbleshoe. He’s popular. Women say he’s ‘sweet natured’. He’s about five foot five. He’s got a comedy Cornish accent. He’s got a massive built up orthopaedic shoe that … Continue reading

Posted in The Stories. | Leave a comment

50. This time it’s personal(ised).

I went out onto the factory floor. It wasn’t a social visit. I’d been summoned. A big machine was clattering away. It’s the machine that adds that ‘oh so personal’ touch to your shit junk mail, the ‘dear Mr Debtridden’ … Continue reading

Posted in The Stories. | Leave a comment

49. Animal Crackers

6.15am. I felt so tired I could have puked. Soulless Boss has left me a stack of work. Nice of him. There was a hand written note. “Need all this for 8.00am! No wandering off, Lucifer!!!” I yawned. Fuck it. … Continue reading

Posted in The Stories. | Leave a comment

48. Cabbage Patch Kid

The howls, shrieks, chirrups and yips echoed through the night. Some cowered at the sound, keeping their heads down, flinching if a gibbering scream rattled in their ear. Above it all came a thundering cry. “Bacon!” “Boxes!” This wasn’t the … Continue reading

Posted in The Stories. | Leave a comment