Monthly Archives: November 2009

43. Squirrel Ripper

“It were squirrels, Lucifer.” “Squirrels, Weasel?” “Squirrels.” “Sorry, you’ve lost me. What about squirrels?” “I were telling you the other day! Something were in my loft, scurrying about! I said I thought it were rats, but it weren’t. It were … Continue reading

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42. The Wander.

It was a boring day. In the print industry, work can be seasonal. Sometimes you’re running round like Bernie Clifton on MDMA, and other days you make Stephen Hawking look hyperactive. This was a Stephen Hawking day. I looked round … Continue reading

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41. The Fib Four

“The music industry is a piece of piss nowadays, Lucifer. It were much harder, back in my day…” “Is that why you’re working in a factory, Scorcher, rather than playing the stadiums?” “Something like that. If I were a young … Continue reading

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40. Mutual Mastication.

I’m watching Pike. I like to watch people. It annoys me, but I can’t stop doing it. Perhaps I’m a voyeur. I’m definitely a voyeur. Let’s face it. We’re all voyeurs. That’s why ‘You’ve been Framed’ is still on telly. … Continue reading

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39. Meet the parents…

I’m late for work. Fuck it. Nothing ever gets said. It’s Monday, 6.11am. Managers and supervisors are still snoring and farting. I make cup of tea. In the studio, OhSeeDee is sitting with his head in his hands. Must have … Continue reading

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38. Own Goal.

Huge floodlights loom over the rear yard. They’re for loading and unloading wagons at night. The thing is, that’s pretty boring. Why not use them to illuminate football matches instead? The night shift get bored easily. At midnight they stop … Continue reading

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37. The clocks strike thirteen…

I was stood on the factory floor when I heard the clocks strike thirteen… In some ways, it was inevitable. The company had been in a bit of a financial crisis. It was in the red. Something had to give. … Continue reading

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